Mental Health Day

Today, I'm suppose to have two classes and work a full-time shift.

Instead, I am basking in the darkness of my silent, living room with a box of tissues.

I am broken.

Half an hour ago, I dropped off my daughter at preschool where she will be for the next four hours. After I walked her over to the teacher, I returned to my car and started to break down. Needless to say, I have declared this to be a mental health day.

I haven't cried in several weeks. Perhaps, all the emotions have been bottling up to the mess that I have become.

Lists are so much easier for me. So the following (which may or may not make sense) is a list (in no particular order) of everything that is bothering me:

1. My son not being alive.
2. Feeling inadequate to my living child.
3. The mountain of clean laundry that I haven't had the chance to fold.
4. My car that keeps dying on me while I'm on the road.
5. School loans that my husband and I are stuck with.
6. The damn economy.
7. Gas prices.
8. How we will not make it to the family reunion for Thanksgiving this year because it hurts to go w/o Joshua.
9. The news of the 15 year old girl who got gang raped in Richmond for 2 hours.
10. The battling lawsuit with the hospital that took my son.

Oh, there's more, but this would be my definite top 10.

I have about three more hours to myself before Maui needs to get picked up from school. It's time for me to curl up in my sofa and catch up on all my DVRed shows.